One of the facets of having ADHD is an inability to remember pretty much anything, roughly 20 seconds after it’s happened. I’ve always known my memory was bad, but I’ve worked around it by being hyper-organised. That in itself leads to a level of anxiety that is difficult to explain because you’re always worried about forgetting to make a note of something, or not being able to take in all of the required information. Since I realised that my anxiety was mainly caused by ADHD, I’ve been able to allay some of the tension and pressure it can cause. It’s amazing what a little bit of understanding can do.
I’ll probably be talking a lot about my ADHD in this blog because I’m still working out how it affects me. I’m already questioning many of my behaviours, and much of my understanding of how “people” behave. I’ve always done this – understanding human behaviour is something that has always interested me – but since I realised that I have a different filter, I’ve been second-guessing myself a lot.
For example, I remember at acting school that we were taught not to leave too much space between lines in normal dialogue. I always felt this was unrealistic because “people” need time to process what’s going on. Well, it turns out that it’s just me (and millions of others with ADHD) that need that extra second or two to grasp the concept of a conversation. It’s nothing to do with intelligence, it’s just the ADHD brain needs a second or two to catch up with itself.
You know when you ask someone a question, and they do that thing where they go “say that again”, but then proceed to answer while you’re repeating yourself? That’s a common ADHD trait. Me, I tend not to ask, but pause to allow my brain to process, and then answer the question in my own time. People often think that this means I’m casting judgement on them/the situation/the question, or I have something to hide because I can’t answer immediately, but it’s simply my brain whizzing and whirring while it works out how to respond.
Now as you read that, you might have thought to yourself that that behaviour sounds a bit like you. Or you might have thought that you know someone else that does that, and you’re now considering whether or not they are ADHD. It’s a great example of the difficulties of identifying ADHD symptoms – particularly in adults – because so many of them can be described as “something that everyone does from time to time”. The important difference, however, is that for people with ADHD, these things affect us every moment of every day.
Other examples include: walking into things, entering a room and forgetting why you went there, and starting a task and getting distracted by another task. People with ADHD will do these things every day, and often to the extreme.
You see – that diatribe is another example. I started writing about having a bad memory as a lead-in to my point – which is that I wanted to go over what’s happened in the last few weeks, but I struggle to remember. My hyper-organised Google Calendar will fill in some of the blanks for me, but if it wasn’t significant enough to have its own diary entry, it’s most likely gone from my brain forever. Or at least until it comes back to kick me in the face.
Anyway, here are the things that my brain deemed interesting enough to remember.
Getting Back in the Groove
This past Friday I took part in an online improv workshop, and it was probably the most enjoyable thing I’ve done online in a while. I also attended the Iron Clad Improv/Cast Iron Theatre workshop, which I really enjoyed too, especially as there were only two of us and we got a lot of playtime.
The Friday workshop was different for one simple reason – the participants were from all over the world. As much as it is true that every participant will bring their own life experience to a scene, having participants from around the world added a really fun dynamic that I’ve never experienced before.
I’ve always found British improv to be a little stuffy and “safe”. Don’t get me wrong – it can be fantastic when done well, but I’ve seen the same scenes, themes, and reactions so many times that I find it a little predictable. There was one scene that I was part of in the Friday workshop that went to a place that made me howl with laughter, and I honestly don’t think it would have happened in a British workshop because an actor would probably have shut the scene down before it peaked. I’m not going to try to recreate it here because without context it risks reading badly, but feel free to ask me to explain it in person one day and I’ll happily butcher it that way.
The Stick Report
I went down to Hastings to be with the EWW crew at training this past Sunday and had so much fun. I recorded a series of promos which I think are the most fun ones I’ve recorded yet.
In the current storyline, my character (Stickman McTaggart) is jealous that Matty Spilatty has arrived in EWW in his absence and started to report on some of the stories that Stickman would normally cover. In reality, Matty did me a huge favour by covering for me while I was unable to do anything due to the events of the past year.
Back to the kayfabe world. At the top of the card, the EWW Champion Skarlett is pissed off because the commissioner Lou Steel made some misogynistic remarks in an interview with Spilatty. As a result, Stickman is getting more and more desperate to make Spilatty responsible for the comments, and tar him with that same brush.
Born of this situation was one of my favourite creations yet – The Stick Report. Loosely parodying The Cook Report from the early 90s, this new series sees Stickman chasing after wrestlers with a microphone and performing his own brand of investigative journalism. I’ve put two short episodes below – watch for yourself.
If you enjoyed those, remember to follow my Stickman McTaggart pages on Facebook and Instagram for more. There’s also regular new unbiased journalism on the Stay Sticky website.
Happy
The online workshops in general have been more enjoyable than I expected, and I joined an online local creative network meeting that was very positive too.
Leicester Comedy Festival is also underway, and I’ve got tickets for a few shows already. I went to see Jen Ives’ Peak Trans show this past Thursday, and not only did I enjoy the show, it also gave me the performing bug again.
I did have a new solo show in mind, but I’ve yet to find the time to brainstorm the initial idea. I am also seriously considering revising The Voice of Reason as I believe there is some gold in there, and with a little bit of mining I think I can turn it into something special.
So all-in-all, it’s been a good few weeks, and I’m happy with how things are going in my return to performing.